Twelve Days of Vegan Christmas: as told by The Meaty Vegan

Feeling festive in the shower this morning (which often happens when I’m in the shower), I was singing  the “Twelve Days of Christmas” when it dawned on me just how un-vegan that song truly is … what with all the bird giving and maids a’milking and whatnot. So, I’ve taken the time to rewrite this timeless classic to be more a lot more bird-friendly and to have a lot less teat pulling.

Please feel free to print out and gather up vegan carolers and sing to all the omnivores in your neighborhood.

So … for your holiday enjoyment, I present to you …

The Twelve Days of Vegan Christmas

by the Meaty Vegan

On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
A day at Farm Sanctuary

On the second day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary

On the third day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
3 French Fries (they are vegan, after all)
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary

On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
4 Almond Milks
3 French Fries
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary

On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
5 Cheesy Tings (from Pirate’s Booty … these snacks are dangerous!)
4 Almond milks
3 French Fries
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary

On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
6 Potlucks Buffeting
5 Cheesy Tings
4 Almond Milks
3 French Fries
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary

On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
7 Pants Size Slimming
6 Potlucks Buffeting
5 Cheesy Tings
4 Almond Milks
3 French Fries
2 Gentle Hugs
and day at Farm Sanctuary

On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
8 Enough Protein
7 Pants Size Slimming
6 Potluck Buffeting
5 Cheesy Tings
4 Almond Milks
3 French Fries
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary

On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
9 Ladies Dancing (this one can stay)
8 Enough Protein
7 Pants Size Slimming
6 Potlucks Buffeting
5 Cheesy Tings
4 Almond Milks
3 French Fries
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary

On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
10 Cows a Leaping (you HAVE to see this video)
9 Ladies Dancing
8 Enough Protein
7 Pants Size Slimming
6 Potlucks Buffeting
5 Cheesy Tings
4 Almond Milks
3 French Fries
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
11 Omnis Griping
10 Cows a Leaping
9 Ladies Dancing
8  Enough Protein
7 Pants Size Slimming
6 Potlucks Buffeting
5 Cheesy Tings
4 Almond Milks
3 French Fries
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
B-12 Supplements Coming
11 Omnis Griping
10 Cows a Leaping
9 Ladies Dancing
8 Enough Protein
7 Pants Size Slimming
6 Potlucks Buffeting
5 Cheesy Tings
4 Almond Milks
3 French Fries
2 Gentle Hugs
and a day at Farm Sanctuary!

Now … go make a kale wreath, milk some almonds, and …

Go Vegan!