Swimming Offered at North Carolina Pig Farm

Standard

pool

[WARSAW, NORTH CAROLINA] In a surprise decision by North Carolina officials, the 2016 Summer Tourism Season is starting with an unusual splash. According to a recent press release, many rural areas of the state will now be offering recreational swimming in, what are known as, waste contamination pools associated with the abundant pig farming in these communities.

“We’re looking at budget cuts this year and, since these pools are in every county anyway, we decided to open them to the public,” said Derrick VanderPool, Director of North Carolina’s Parks and Recreations. “The members of these communities are already immune to the adverse health effects associated with waste contamination pools so we decided this was the next logical step.” VanderPool added, “Swimmers also enjoy complimentary fresh bacon and pork rinds with every parking lot validation.”

In a related CivilEats feature, last fall, Ann Edmondson, a spokeswoman for the North Carolina Pork Council, told North Carolina Health News that it doesn’t see its operations as endangering the health of nearby residents.

“More than 80 percent of North Carolina’s hog farms are owned and operated by individual farm families, almost all of whom live in close proximity to their swine or in communities where their swine operations are located,” she said, “It strains credibility to believe our hog farmers are risking the health of their own families, along with their neighbors’ health, in order to make a living.”*

North Carolina officials also cited another advantage of swimming in waste pools, “We don’t need lifeguards and that alone is saving the state upwards of $75,000 per season,” VenderPool said.

16005857314_ea882b615d_k-1024x683

#GoVegan

 

* Amazingly, this is true.

BREAKING NEWS: Man Dies; Veganism Blamed

Standard

608-W-Oklahoma-Anadarko-OK-73005

[BUFFALO CITY, OK] Harper County Police and the Harper County Medical Examiner’s Office are investigating the death of a Buffalo City man this morning.

A 92-year-old Buffalo City resident was found dead in his modest prairie home earlier this week. Local authorities believe his vegan lifestyle may have contributed to his unexpected death. David Nash, retired postal worker for Buffalo City, was discovered deceased in his reclining chair by a neighbor who felt “something was just not right.”

“I considered David a friend, in spite of the fact he only ever brought hummus and veggie burgers to our community cookouts,” said Daryl Leno, a neighbor of Nash’s. “Considering the bizarre diet he was on, I’m pretty sure that’s what killed him. I mean, come on, what is hummus anyway?”

The County medical examiner confirmed upon closer inspection of Nash’s home, they could only find whole foods, beans, rice, fruits, vegetables, and some form of…

View original post 235 more words