WIN FREE @BeyondMeat! #FindtheChicken

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It’s no secret that I love BeyondMeat. It started with their chicken and has since expanded into their beef (specifically The Beast and the Beastly Sliders). I’ve gotten to a point where I am coming up with recipes just to incorporate one of their products.

I’ve been lucky enough to try them all at this point. All flavors of the chicken strips, the chicken tenders and poppers, the meatballs, beefy crumbles, the sliders, and The Beast. NOW is your chance to try some yourself by entering to win THREE FREE coupons for any of their products.*

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Entering is so easy. All you have to do is click this link to ThankTankCreative.com and then click OUR WORK from the top menu and browse through our designs. Scroll through them until you find the chicken with the 2-digit number across its breast, then use the form on the bottom of the ThankTank Creative website to enter (simply fill out the few fields and insert the 2-digit number in the subject or message box and click SEND). By the way, we are vegan so we never spam.

That’s it!

We will randomly draw one lucky winner on September 1st from all who enter and mail you the coupons! *

Go Vegan.

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* No purchase necessary. Limited to U.S. residents only. One winner chosen via random.org.

WE HAVE A WINNER: Natalie from Colorado won three BeyondMeat coupons! Congratulations and thanks to everyone who entered!

Dangers of Soy: The Death Toll Rises

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[LAWTON, OK] In the ongoing debate on the negative health effects of soy as it relates to¬†the lifespan of humans, another untimely death this week in Lawton, Oklahoma, directly links¬†soybeans with the passing¬†of a union worker, Shepard Pilgrim. “He was a hard worker for almost 25 years,” said a fellow employee¬†at the Oklahoma Tofu Company (OTC) where Pilgrim was employed. “Sheppy will be missed.”

According to the report from the Lawton Police Deparment, Shepard Pilgrim was unloading crates of soybeans that had just been shipped from Iowa when the delivery truck’s parking brake system failed and rolled backward and pinned Pilgrim against the loading dock. “The slight decline made for a very slow and painful death for old Sheppy,” Sam Drimple, OTC District Manager stated in a phone interview. “For years the vegan community has been warned against the negative health risks of soy and I guess this proves the point. Soybeans can be deadly and can lead to a long, slow death,” he continued. “Poor Sheppy.”

Many proponents of the meat and dairy industry for years have been waging a powerful campaign against soy-based products since it is a natural source of protein, the macromolecules that some believe is better derived from animal flesh. Soy-based foods, and tofu products, are very popular with vegans and vegetarians and are a natural “meat replacer” in nearly ever meal.

“It’s as if these people prefer not to eat animals,” said Trevor Hambone, of the Farmers Against Soy and Kale (FASK). “I mean, animals are made for eating … not tofu. Don’t you think if tofu was meant to be eaten, it would be attached to bones and covered in fur or skin? I mean … I’ve never …”

Soybeans, or soy, have been gaining popularity in the United State and are¬†used in tofu, soy milk and various dairy and meat substitutes. It is also used in fermented foods like miso, natto and tempeh, which are commonly consumed in some Asian countries and are offered at every Asian restaurant from New York to California. While soy is actually good for your health, over 90% of soy produced in the U.S. is genetically modified and the crops are sprayed with the herbicide Roundup, which may be associated with adverse effects on health. So, when selecting soy, be sure to look for “non-GMO” and “organic” certifications.

Soy, it turns out, is also good for your heart. One study suggests that eating foods that contain isoflavones (like soy products) every day may help lower blood pressure and it is thought that the isoflavones work by encouraging your body to produce nitric oxide, which helps to dilate blood vessels and reduce the pressure created by blood against the vessel walls. Additionally, whole soy foods contain high levels of healthy protein and fiber. Fiber helps to reduce bad cholesterol, plus, soy is a much better source of protein for your heart than saturated-fat-rich animal-derived foods.

However, to one Oklahoma company, any amount of evidence indicating the safety of soy doesn’t seem to matter.¬†“I don’t care what the health experts say,” continued Drimple. “Soybeans¬†killed Sheppy.”

Go vegan.

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Stranded New Zealand Couple Find Themselves in Life-threatening Vegan Dilemma

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[TIMARU, NEW ZEALAND] In a real life case of “fiction becoming reality,” a vegan New Zealand couple find themselves aground¬†on a uninhabited¬†island faced with the age-old, vegan question, “if you were stranded on a deserted island, would you eat meat?” George and Margaret Taylor, of Timaru, New Zealand, were coastal sailing along the Antipodes Island chain when the mast on their 42-foot Beneteau Sense 43¬†became detached, leaving the couple adrift in the Pacific Ocean.

“The complications occurred while tacking,” Mr. Taylor commenting during a phone interview. “Maggie was in the galley cooking up ‘er vegetable hangi when the mast let loose. I was like “bugulugs!” this can’t be good. The next thing I knew we was adrift.”

The Antipodes Islands are notorious for sweeping up ships that have lost steerage and have claimed the lives of many stranded explorers. The Taylors found themselves awash the shore along the eastern edge of the largest of the six desolate¬†islands with very little left of their own food supply. “We had some veggies and fruit, ya’ know, ‘vegan’ food,” said Mrs. Taylor. “but, with our boat all puckarooed, we knew we wouldn’t survive very long.”

The Taylors fashioned a small lean-to on the lee side of the island and watched for any passing boats or planes to spot the massive sails they laid along the beach. Days became weeks and the couple found themselves in the old-story¬†“vegan” situation¬†of having to forage for their food, specifically protein, on a deserted island ‚ÄĒ not to mention finding fresh water, which omnivores forget to mention¬†when they pose this ridiculous scenario. While there was plenty of plant-life on the archipelago to sustain the wild goats, small rodents, fowl, and fish the couple struggled with the concept of having to indulge in animal flesh to survive.

“We would stare at each other for long hours as we dined on limitless vegetation, wondering who might make the first move ‚ÄĒ us, or the goats,” Mr. Taylor added from his seaside home in Timaru. “Our omnivore friends for years annoyed us with the quandry¬†if we would eat meat to survive on a deserted island and there we were … asking ourselves the very same question. Luckily, by rationing our own food and water supply, along with the island’s vegetation, we were able to stay alive for 16-days until the New Zealand Island Authority (NZIA) rescued us. I don’t know if we would have made it one more day. I actually thought twice about¬†throwing a lobster on the barbie. If only we’d brought butter.”

Mrs. Taylor added, “As far as the question goes, I guess we’ll never know the answer.”

Thousands of sailors, some as recently as 1999, have died on these remote islands and the NZIA speculate the majority of them must have been vegan.

Go Vegan.

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BREAKING NEWS: Man Dies; Veganism Blamed

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[BUFFALO CITY, OK] Harper County Police and the¬†Harper County¬†Medical Examiner’s Office are investigating the death of a Buffalo City¬†man this morning.

A 92-year-old Buffalo City resident¬†was found dead in his modest prairie home earlier¬†this week. Local authorities believe his vegan lifestyle may have contributed to his unexpected death. David Nash, retired postal worker for Buffalo City, was discovered deceased in his reclining chair by a neighbor who felt “something was just not right.”

“I considered David a friend, in spite of the fact he only ever brought hummus and veggie burgers to our community cookouts,” said Daryl Leno, a neighbor of Nash’s. “Considering the bizarre diet he was on, I’m pretty sure that’s what killed him. I mean, come on, what is hummus anyway?”

The County medical examiner confirmed upon closer inspection of Nash’s home, they could only find¬†whole foods, beans, rice, fruits, vegetables, and some form of “soy” milk in his refrigerator and pantry.

“There is no way a person can survive on this diet,” said Pablo Rodriguez, Chief Medical Examiner. “Where’s the steaks? The eggs? It’s no wonder he didn’t live to be 94 with this type of lifestyle. It’s just unhealthy.”

In related “unhealthy” news, a popular food blogger and Instagram sensation known previously¬†as The Blonde Vegan, made national headlines when she admitted that trying to stay alive consuming only food that is good for you, foods found in a vegan diet,¬†and avoiding meat, dairy, and eggs, nearly killed her.

Jordan, a¬†yoga junkie, passionate writer, fitness freak, smoothie addict, dream chaser, cleanse creator, founder of TBV Apparel, wannabe food photographer & lover of all things health related¬†has since converted back to an omnivore’s diet and already feels healthier and reports that her period, which had stalled during her 18-months vegan, has returned. This medical oddity also¬†proves¬†that vegans cannot reproduce and if the planet went 100% vegan, human life would cease to exist.

“If I could say just one thing to Mr. Nash in the great beyond, it would be ‘bacon’,” Rodriguez added, while biting into¬†a double cheeseburger over Nash’s corpse during his planned autopsy. “If only someone had told this old man that humans require meat and meat protein and eggs and milk and bacon … to live, he’d still be with us today.”

Go vegan.

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Will I Grow a Vagina from Eating Too Much Tofu?

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Q: Will I grow a vagina from eating too much tofu?

A: That is a valid question. Let’s explore. Tofu, derived from soy, is an excellent source of protein in the vegan diet, as well as a very versatile ingredient in so many dishes. From silken to firm, this white block of goodness takes on whatever personality you ask it to and, when cooked to perfection, adds a delicious bite to any recipe.

However, as any meat eater will tell you, there are certain risks associated with eating too much tofu (soy). So much so, that any time I actually tell someone that I eat tofu, they are suddenly nutritionists who warn me against the adverse health consequences of eating tofu/soy. Or, worse yet, they learn about the little known side effect of men eating too much tofu:

Growavaginaitis.

Supposedly, tofu acts like a super-charged estrogen that when men eat too much of it, they start to form breasts and could begin to grow a vagina. Of course, there are risks and side effects associated with everything we eat, so why should tofu be any different and why should they care?

It’s because soy/tofu poses the biggest threat to big meat.

I’ll say that again because it’s actually pretty clever and would make an excellent t-shirt: tofu poses the biggest threat to big meat.

The industry doesn’t want consumers to have access to viable protein sources. Once we all discover new sources of protein (and regular sources of B12), it’s over. The meat, dairy, and egg industries will feel the pinch — more than they already are. Also, soy is so readily available and versatile that it can be used in place of any meat.

As much as omnivores have had it drilled into them that meat isn’t bad for them¬†and you need milk for calcium and eggs for protein, they are also being fed half-truths about soy. Think about it, if there were an alternative food for everything meat (and dairy), the only reason people would continue to eat those foods¬†would be that they hate animals.

Is there a limit to how much soy you should consume? Of course, there is a limit to how much of anything you should consume (even water). Dr. Greger, of NutritionFacts.org, recommends no more than 3-5 servings per day.¬†That’s a lot of tofu. You can listen to his research in this video and lay to rest once and for all that tofu causes¬†growavaginaitis.

In fact, soy has some decidedly incredible health advantages you can’t find in other foods. From Dr. Greger:

” … studies have repeatedly found that women who eat lots of soy appear to have a lower risk of getting breast cancer and a better risk of surviving breast cancer than those who don‚Äôt.”

So, grab an organic (non-GMO) brick of tofu and grill it, fry it, bake it, blend it, scramble it, slice it, press it, and enjoy it! Tofu is one of those foods that makes it easy to …

Go vegan.

Want more? The Skeptical Vegan comes out August 2017 from Skyhorse Publishing! Follow this blog for updates and more on the upcoming book release!

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BREAKING NEWS: Vegans are Dying from a Lack of Protein

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[Duncan, OK] It is a commonly known fact that vegans struggle to get enough protein to survive. Across the country, humans living on plant-based diets are dying from a lack of these large biological modules that can only be acquired by consuming meat [1].

“Since the first vegan showed up to a cro magnon BBQ with only hummus, his weakness in the evolutionary chain was clearly defined and he has continued to slowly edge toward extinction,” stated Robert Stevenson, of the Animal Protein Institution (API) in Duncan, Oklahoma, a suburb of Tulsa. “… most likely from a lack of animal protein [2].”

One of the signs of a protein deficiency is constant craving [3], which could explain why vegans are always grazing or meeting up at potlucks. It is as if they are in a constant state of starvation. Unlike their omnivore counterpart, who only require three meals per day: a Grand Slam breakfast from Denny’s in the morning, a #2 special at Taco Bell for lunch, and all-you-can-eat pasta at The Olive Garden. The vegan, as it seems, appears to eat all day. Snacking on kale chips, celery sticks, and other whole foods. Noshing on nourishing foods. A sort-of “vegetable zombie” in search of B12.

“Vegans have also been known to crave things like animal rights and a clean environment. These cravings could be cured with a solid dose of animal fat.” Stevenson continued.

Other signs that vegans struggle to get protein? Their excellent annual check ups and less frequent doctor’s appointments. How can a person possibly be healthy without frequent doctor and hospital visits? That makes no sense.

Arteriosclerosis is a “clear” indicator of plenty of animal protein in the human body and vegans, with their clean arteries and excellent cholesterol levels, noticeably lack decaying carcass protein; again, necessary for survival. [1]

This “veganizing” of America needs to stop. Vegans must give up their ideals and beliefs and immediately switch to a hardier meat-based diet [4], such as Paleo or Atkins, or they will face the ultimate demise:

Dying old with a healthy body.


[1]. Not true.
[2.]. Also not true.
[3.]. Oddly, this is true.
[4]. Vegans get, literally, more than enough protein from vegetables, legumes, nuts, seeds, beans, and whole grains. In fact, the average vegan diet provides 150% of the daily required protein to sustain a healthy meat-free/egg-free life.

Go vegan.

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Next time an omni …

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Next time an omnivore asks where you get your protein, ask them where they get their fiber.