[ORLANDO, FL] With record low attendance and revenue lagging, SeaWorld announced on Memorial Day 2014 a massive rebranding campaign for the company and a “strategic rethinking” of how the controversial parks are operated.
“The reaction to the documentary ‘Blackfish‘ and the negative media coverage we have experienced in Q1 has forced us to change entirely SeaWorld,” stated Robert Sanders, Director of Public Relations. “Starting June 1, 2014, all SeaWorld locations will be known as ‘MeWorld‘.”
The release went on to state that instead of the parks featuring orcas, dolphins, and other marine life, park visitors will now get to experience “life like a whale” by spending days at a time swimming in circles in undersized pools and being hand-fed fresh-caught seafood which is being provided by the new Red Lobster.
“It’s an incredible opportunity for park attendees,” Sanders commented. “They will finally feel what it is like being catered to in the lap of luxury. All they have to do for all-you-can-eat shrimp is occasionally wave to audience members, jump through hoops, and splash kids in the front row. Who wouldn’t want this deal?”
MeWorld Orlando tickets will be discounted throughout the entire month of June ($45) and MeWorld San Antonio and San Diego will extend special admission rates through July 4th. Visitors can also purchase a full season VIP ticket ($89) which allows them to have their belly rubbed daily as well as be masturbated by certified MeWorld trainers.
For more information, visit MeWorld.com.