SeaWorld Plans Massive Rebranding Campaign: Welcome to “MeWorld”

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[ORLANDO, FL] With record low attendance and revenue lagging, SeaWorld announced on Memorial Day 2014 a massive rebranding campaign for the company and a “strategic rethinking” of how the controversial parks are operated.

“The reaction to the documentary ‘Blackfish‘ and the negative media coverage we have experienced in Q1 has forced us to change entirely SeaWorld,” stated Robert Sanders, Director of Public Relations. “Starting June 1, 2014, all SeaWorld locations will be known as ‘MeWorld‘.”

The release went on to state that instead of the parks featuring orcas, dolphins, and other marine life, park visitors will now get to experience “life like a whale” by spending days at a time swimming in circles in undersized pools and being hand-fed fresh-caught seafood which is being provided by the new Red Lobster.

“It’s an incredible opportunity for park attendees,” Sanders commented. “They will finally feel what it is like being catered to in the lap of luxury. All they have to do for all-you-can-eat shrimp is occasionally wave to audience members, jump through hoops, and splash kids in the front row. Who wouldn’t want this deal?”

MeWorld Orlando tickets will be discounted throughout the entire month of June ($45) and MeWorld San Antonio and San Diego will extend special admission rates through July 4th. Visitors can also purchase a full season VIP ticket ($89) which allows them to have their belly rubbed daily as well as be masturbated by certified MeWorld trainers.

For more information, visit MeWorld.com.

Go vegan.

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7 thoughts on “SeaWorld Plans Massive Rebranding Campaign: Welcome to “MeWorld”

  1. Awesome post! Made me spew my coffee.

    It’s interesting to note that in Red Lobster’s “fresh fish” section that no where is the word “wild caught.” And I’m afraid that what they are calling “Atlantic salmon” is indeed farmed, even though it is released before being recaught for consumption. Case in point, ALL FARMED fresh fish. Shame.

    Like

  2. Thanks for commenting. Unrelated to seafood …

    I have a friend who was recently a chef on Food Network Star. Made it to the 8th episode and was finally eliminated, due in part, for telling a story about burning pigs and tasting their flesh. Turned off the judges.

    In response to being eliminated she shot a video of herself frolicking at a local pig farm showing how happy the pigs are and how they are so healthy, family-oriented, and “safe” from a burning barn …

    No connection was ever made.

    Emma, if you are reading this … sorry. As you can imagine as an ethical vegan, that video response only made matters worse in my eyes. Still love you and am SO proud of you!

    Like

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