What Meat is Actually Good For: New Data Revealed



[New Cordell, OK] Earlier this week the National Meat and Fish Oversight Committee (NMFOC) in New Cordell, Oklahoma announced controlled findings on what “meat” is actually good for. While the study, which was partly funded by the Food and Drug Administration and Tyson Foods, was set out to explore the nutritional and dietary advantages of consuming meat, it instead revealed new, unexpected results.

In a simulated farm setting, milking cows, beef cattle, pigs, goats, ducks, and chickens were carefully observed during a two week timeframe to gain insight into their social and grazing habits, as well as their natural actions, when left to roam freely. This, combined with auxiliary scientific data, led to a new conclusion on “what meat is good for.”

“Our team at the NMFOC has solid evidence and will report out our findings in an official dossier later this year,” announced Bradford Cummings, the Director of NMFOC at a recent press conference. “We have concluded, beyond any other known evidence or fact, that for the health and well-being of our subjects, meat is best left on the animal. Uneaten. The structure of the beasts, in relation to their flesh and skin, seems to benefit from not removing the meat from their skeletal bones. The meat, along with muscle and skin, seems to actually assist in keeping the animal in one piece. Which the animals seem to enjoy.”

This statistic goes against the commonly-held belief that meat is intended for human consumption, requiring the slaughter and butchering of each animal and the subsequent packaging and promotion of their flesh.

Cummings later went on to comment that not only do the animals thrive when their meat is left in tact, but they seem to become less afraid of humans and become more sociable and, as he continued, “… are actually quite adorable when you get to know them.”

Go vegan.

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4 thoughts on “What Meat is Actually Good For: New Data Revealed

  1. fred

    had lunch today in naples village at a small restaurant and told the waitress- a 30 something- that i was a vegan and had special dietary concerns. she said she was a vegan for 16 years. asked why she went back to eating meat, she said she wasn’t feeling good and decided it was because of a lack of protein. then she said she visited a local cattle farm that sells grass fed free range meat and that that had sold her (?).
    asked her if she had thought of going to a dietician to find what was lacking in her diet and she said ‘no’.
    i told her there is no magic ingredient in meat, and i have been meat/ dairy free for the past 46+ years, and that i mountain bike, kayak, am an avid hiker, and a carpenter, and that i have never felt my diet was lacking in anything.
    just hoping maybe this will make her re-think her decision.


    • Great comment, Fred. I had dinner with someone once who went from vegan to omnivore as a plate of chicken was passed under her nose. She said, “her body was telling her she needed the protein.”

      People will make any excuse. Fundamentally, these very same people were never vegan in the first place. The idea of eating something that was once a living creature with eyes and a heart and a family …

      Well, you know.

      Thanks for commenting.


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