[New Cordell, OK] Earlier this week the National Meat and Fish Oversight Committee (NMFOC) in New Cordell, Oklahoma announced controlled findings on what “meat” is actually good for. While the study, which was partly funded by the Food and Drug Administration and Tyson Foods, was set out to explore the nutritional and dietary advantages of consuming meat, it instead revealed new, unexpected results.
In a simulated farm setting, milking cows, beef cattle, pigs, goats, ducks, and chickens were carefully observed during a two week timeframe to gain insight into their social and grazing habits, as well as their natural actions, when left to roam freely. This, combined with auxiliary scientific data, led to a new conclusion on “what meat is good for.”
“Our team at the NMFOC has solid evidence and will report out our findings in an official dossier later this year,” announced Bradford Cummings, the Director of NMFOC at a recent press conference. “We have concluded, beyond any other known evidence or fact, that for the health and well-being of our subjects, meat is best left on the animal. Uneaten. The structure of the beasts, in relation to their flesh and skin, seems to benefit from not removing the meat from their skeletal bones. The meat, along with muscle and skin, seems to actually assist in keeping the animal in one piece. Which the animals seem to enjoy.”
This statistic goes against the commonly-held belief that meat is intended for human consumption, requiring the slaughter and butchering of each animal and the subsequent packaging and promotion of their flesh.
Cummings later went on to comment that not only do the animals thrive when their meat is left in tact, but they seem to become less afraid of humans and become more sociable and, as he continued, “… are actually quite adorable when you get to know them.”