Everyone knows about junk food vegans. Those posers. Pretending to care about their health while stuffing their faces with Oreos and Pop Tarts. Buying movie theatre popcorn with extra “butter.” Wolfing down half a bag of potato chips on the way to Five Guys to buy fries.
These junk food vegans are trying. Trying to maintain their coveted vegan status while gorging themselves with all the decadent treats that are free of meat, eggs, and dairy that they can get their hands on. I happen to know for a fact that they are trying.
Because I am one of them.
Kettle Chips now come in Bacon Maple flavor. Earth Balance just came out with cheese puffs that would blow your mind. Tater Tots for breakfast. Beyond Meat smothered in wing sauce. Vegan cheeses stirred into hot brown rice pasta. Coconut Bliss ice cream doused in Ahlaska chocolate sauce. The list goes on and on.
Are these foods bad for me? You bet. Do I care? I actually do. I’d love to be über healthy with everything I eat but figure since everything I eat is both gluten-free and vegan … I can eat whatever I want.
It has to be better for me than eating meat. Right?
I still can’t figure this out. Is eating this way, combined with healthy, vegetable-laden meals, better for me than my old omnivore’s diet? Let me ponder that as I grab a tortilla shell, fold it over some soy chorizo, smother it in all salsa and guacamole, melt on Follow Your Heart cheddar shreds, sprinkle on lettuce, and Tofutti sour cream and think to myself:
Life short and everyone should …