OMNIVORES BEWARE!

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Omnivores beware. We are coming. Vegans are building a brigade. Our numbers are increasing nationally — internationally.

A regiment of herbivores. An advanced human that can survive purely on plant-based foods. This contingent is growing in size and in strength. We soon will take over your grocery stores, your farmer’s markets, your fast food restaurants, and your dinner tables. You won’t see us coming. There will be little warning. But we are there. Hiding. Behind the bushes (that we are nourished by). Plotting this initiative at potlucks.

We are peaceful in our approach. Slowly educating the masses. Eliminating the enemies. Removing the Paula Deen’s. Resistance is futile. Eventually each one of you will eat a salad. Each one of you will enjoy kale. Simply steamed. With some chopped up garlic.

You will suddenly feel better. You will lose weight. You will change the course of your current downward spiral in your health. And you too, shall become strong. Strong enough to join the Vegan Brigade.

And just when you think we cannot win. Our numbers aren’t strong enough. Our bodies aren’t fit enough. We don’t get enough protein. We’re weakened by the lack of B12 in our bodies. It is then you will be reminded …

We have the animal kingdom on our side.

2 thoughts on “OMNIVORES BEWARE!

  1. mhaithaca

    Please, please, please give me a vegan fast food restaurant I can go to!

    With the mayo left off, the BK Veggie is vegan, and that’s a good start. I’ve long said I would give up burgers when there was a plausible alternative, and I probably eat as many BK Veggies as Whoppers, just as I eat more Bandwagon veggieburgers than beef ones.

    Like

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